Please Review My New Sales Page!

[Tel]

Hi all,

I've just finished my sales page for a new ebook that I want to promote. This is the first time I've ever tried this so I want to know what you think of it.

It's a little spartan and I don't have the hooks of the bigger marketers like income proof or testimonials, so I wonder if it has what it takes to cut through all that and still make a potential customer WANT to buy the ebook.

Please tell me what you think - does it make YOU want to buy the book? Or not - why not etc, you know the sort of thing I'm after...

PS: The ebook is a plagiarised copy of a section of Steven's My Secret Articles, so if you've already got that you have all the info. I'd like to add my new findings on SEO to the book, but can't until I have proof that they work...

The link is:

http://www.thehonestway.com/sq/01/

The download isn't ready yet, so please don't buy it!!!!!

[Tel]

...any takers???

[magnetize]

Sorry Terry,

I meant to write my feedback but then got sidetracked. I also believe that if I wrote down all my concerns regarding the page, I would have to write a whole book.
To keep it short:
1) the copy didn't grab me. It was also way too long and I fear that this could be a negative as if somebody is ready to buy once they read the title and subs, they don't want to read a ton of info. It kind of distracts them from grabbing their valet. By the time they reach the end, they lost interest (if they even get that far.)
2) An effective splash page (sales page) needs a huge header and a sub with a call to action.
3) the best thing to do to get a feel for this is to start your own swipe file collection. I once attended a copywriting seminar with a well known copywriter and have learnt heaps from this. Sadly my time is limited and because I need more time to build a site it takes me double the time to create something closely acceptable for myself.
4) what I did like very much is your header banner and your picture. Especially leaning into the site with your stance is very inviting and makes me want to trust you.
5) throwing in a freebie is great too as people link to see added value for their money

Remember, people buy because they
need help
are desperate
want a solution
trust you

you are on the right track, but I would polish the copy a little and minimize the middle section to half the size to keep it interesting.

I hope this helps
Monika

PS: you might want to read this article of mine I wrote after I attended this seminar. It contains many pointers that might help you to see what I mean.
http://www.thewritersmanifesto.com/articles11.html

[Tel]

Thanks ever so much Monika, that's really what I needed.

I'll rethink that copy and cut it down to size - I got carried away with writing (as you do) and had swagen's new HIP sales page in mind when I wrote it, so there was some influence there.

I'll keep those points in mind when I rewrite

I'll read your article too

Let's see what I can come up with.

[magnetize]

[Tel]

[tam2005]

[Tel]

[tam2005]

You're welcome Terry.

[Simo]